Self Worth


Victimhood vs Personal Power

Often we get caught in a ‘victim’ mentality with people and situations round us. We feel like we have no control over what is going on externally. I am sure that you have been in this situation and I know I certainly have many times.

When we allow ourselves to fall into the ‘victim’ mode, we fall deep into the emotion of the situation, with many examples and reasons why it is not fair and the poor me mentality comes to full light. Hence we lose our personal power.

Yet if we realise that this ‘victim’ mode is just a pattern of behaviour that we live our life in, then we can move away from ‘victimhood’ into a more logical space and regain our personal power within the situation. It is here in the logical space that we can see what the facts of the situation are, allowing a whole new perspective to come into our light and understanding.

Unfortunately (as I am well aware) this victim mode is something that we automatically go into and it is an easy space to be in as we can blame others around us. Yet to make the change away from ‘victim’ mode it does take a choice and change of behaviour to do this, which only requires practice.

Yes it does only take YOU to make a change in YOUR life.


This all sounds great, but how do I practically start to become this empowered person who is no longer a victim of their circumstance? Here are a few steps to help start making this change…..

  1. Accept that people around you are not going to think or act the way you do. We are all different, so celebrate who you are and your personal values.
  2. Check in with yourself to see how you are behaving and what you are contributing to these circumstances, if you can stand in the light and be true to who you are in kindness, love and compassion then you need to remain in that space and not allow others around you to change who you are (in other words don’t react with bad behaviour because someone else is acting badly).
  3. Be thankful that this situation / person in your life, as they are here to teach you something about yourself and empower you to be strong within yourself.

For me, these simple steps can make a huge difference, as they give you a structure to work with and move you away from that irrational and emotional space that ‘victimhood’ surely brings.

Good luck with it and remember to be kind to yourself as you begin to make the changes within to ultimately make the changes on your outside life.

To your happiness always,


The power in the now…..

At my weekly meditation class last week we talked a lot about being in the present moment. This is something that seems to keep on coming up for me lately.

This moment now is what keeps the past alive and what allows the past to continue to infiltrate into our lives.

This moment now is where we feel anxious or worry about the future.

When we look at the present moment with peace and acceptance, then the past will not dictate our present and the future will work itself out.

To quote my meditation teacher..

“Like attracts like, so when we are at peace in the present moment we will attract peace for all future moments”.

How true! We can change the future just by changing our present thoughts – it is very empowering when we think of it in this manner.

My biggest task this week has been to slow down, focus on the present moment and understand why something from the past or future is affecting me right now (when it is not even happening in the present moment). I had a perfect example of this over the weekend. I began to feel overwhelmed and anxious over something that was out of my control (and specifically someone). I needed to take a step away from the emotion that I was feeling and see why it was affecting me right now. I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH was the current reason why it was affecting me! Which was really simple to see once I was able to step in the present moment and see logically what was happening. So instead of reliving the past and worrying about what was going to happen in the future because of this event, I told myself that I was GOOD ENOUGH and I am perfect just as I am in this moment. This is where I put my focus, not on the external event that was causing me angst.

How can you apply this to your life? And where do you allow the past to infiltrate into your present thoughts, actions and reactions.Slow down today and focus on the now. Be present in the now, not in what could of been or what should be.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie


Wow – I have just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life! A trip of a lifetime with my husband!!

This trip has reiterated to me how grateful I am for my life and the people I have in my life. To me gratitude is about being appreciative, thankful, noticing those simple pleasures and acknowledging them. It is about living your life in appreciation of everything you have and everything you do! It is a very powerful place to be and such an important place to be!

At times in our busy lives we take people and things in our lives for granted and do not appreciate them for what or who they are. To me this is really important as when you come from a place of gratitude you are happier, less stressed and able to appreciate the beauty in all that life has to offer!

On my recent trip abroad, I have really taken a step away from the hectic life of being a working Mother to my four children, this has given me the opportunity to really see life as a gift, which I cherish and appreciate. I understand fully that at times in our lives, especially when the children are fighting and dinner needs to be cooked and after school activities need to organised, we get caught up in the stress and grind of it all. Next time this happens take a step back and be thankful for having happy and healthy children who are able to enjoy your cooking, do their sporting activities and have siblings to argue with.. Unfortunately there are so many people out there in the world who long for these simple pleasures and stresses…

Upon my return home I am starting a Gratitude Diary – which will be a way that I can write down and formally acknowledge all the things in my life (the good and bad) and be grateful for either the learning the bad situation is giving me or the pleasure the good situation is giving me. I encourage you to do the same, even if it is just a thought every day to be grateful for something or someone in your life. You will see what a positive effect this simple and effective exercise will have on your life and your current state of mind!

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.



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