Discover You

Often we get so caught up with being someone’s mother, someone’s wife / partner that we forget and lose who we are in the process. We put all of our energies and focus into our loved ones around us, that we no longer know who we are. Our loved ones become the main focus of our thoughts and actions.

This became very apparent to me recently as one of my clients, Emma who was an older Mum and whose children were ‘leaving the nest’. She had 2 children, a 30 year old daughter who lived in Singapore and a 19 year old son who still lived with her but was at University and starting to become more and more independent. She felt lost and did not know what to do with her days. Her passion was cooking and this is what she would do to nurture her family, but now with her son going out more – it was just her husband and her for dinner each night. Emma felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and longed for her children to be home with her. When they were not at home, she would worry continually about them – which filled her mind with thoughts of her children and gave her a sense of purpose in their lives still.

Thankfully Emma has a very supportive husband and children, who are being very kind to her in this transition stage of her life, but unfortunately it does not make it any easier for Emma to cope. In the whole process of Mothering, Emma had lost herself and she did not know how or where to start with reclaiming her life back.

Slowly Emma was able to feel more confident and in control of the change in her life. She did this by focusing on her internal thoughts and feelings that were contributing to her feelings of sadness and worry.

We focused on Emma’s strengths and what she enjoyed to do, which was cooking. Emma joined some cooking classes and talked about starting a cooking blog! This helped give Emma a purpose and focus in her life again.

Throughout our lives, we need to make sure that we putting ourselves as a priority in life.

We need to ensure that we love, nurture and care for ourselves by doing things for ourselves. This needs to be a priority daily! At the end of the day, the best thing that we can do for our loved ones is put ourselves as a priority so we will be in a great space to care and nurture them.

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.

Signature -Debbie

 

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