Fears

 

I have come across fears a lot lately in my personal and business life! It seems to be that fears are always popping their ugly heads up!

At a recent expo I ran I was talking to Mum’s in business and about how their fears present themselves in their businesses (and of course their personal life). What I found interesting about this is that they were having the same sorts of fears that I have? This got me thinking? How can they have the same sorts of fears if I do not know them or know anything about their business. Why and how can we have similar fears? What is it that connects us to feel the same way?

Upon my reflection of this, I have realised that the reason is because underneath the fears we all have the same basic needs, to be accepted, to be good enough and to be loved. The fears we feel on the outside are just a reflection that one of our basic needs are not being met on the inside.

Once we  are able to meet our needs from the inside out then we can face our fears head on.

This is definitely easier said than done, trust me. I know what it feels like to face fears head on. My biggest fear in my life is that I am not good enough – a good enough mother or wife or business woman (and the list does continue on – but i think you understand that it appears in all areas of my life!). I find that the fear will present itself in many different ways, the latest way is by fearing that if I spend more time on my business then my children will suffer as I will not be there for them! When I look at this factually it really is not true as my children will not even notice that I am spending more time in my business because I work during the days when my children are at school. It makes no sense, but the fear is very real to me. When I drill down to see why this fear is appearing, it is because I fear that I will fail (and hence not be good enough) and I fear that I may succeed (and hence more people may see that I am not good enough)! It is crazy and makes no sense when I look at it logically. But the fear is still so real to me.

What helps me to overcome this?? Is that I start to focus on the reasons why I feel the fear, which for me is not been good enough. When I focus on that I take the limelight off the emotion surrounding the fear. This allows me to focus on what is important and what i can change from the inside out! And of course I can then set up boundaries around how I can incorporate solutions into my life as well, which for me is about setting up my boundaries around when I work and when I spend time with the kids.

Think about your fears logically and see what unmet emotional need they are representing in your life? Is it like me that you worry about not been good enough?

Look at the real reasons behind your fears to allow you to let it go (once and for all)!

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.

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