Now that is a loaded and very true statement!

Lately I have had a couple of clients with big issues from their pasts that they need to deal with and in particular forgive people in their lives so they could move forward and upwards in their lives. It made me start thinking about the people in my life that I hold grudges with and need to start to look at forgiveness.

Forgiveness is so important for us to be able to let go of the past and learn from it. I am a big believer in learning lessons from the past and bringing those lessons into the present and future events. But even though I know that forgiveness is very important, it is also a really hard thing to do!

The way I have started forgiving people in my life is by looking back at the situation with a new perceptive and from a non-emotional point (as when I bring back the drama and emotion of the situation, it just makes me relive it and get stuck in the past – even many years later).  Once I am able to look at the situation from a logical and objective way, I am able to see it for what it actually was, to be able to acknowledge my part in it and the other person’s part in it! I can then start to see the lessons of why it happened and what happened, to ultimately grow and develop as a person – LEARN THE LESSON!

This process is not a 5 minute job, it is a long process and it takes a lot of thought to get through it. Remember that as a habit we will always tend to go back into the emotion and drama of the event, see this for what it is – a habit and stop the habit by choosing to step out of the drama! Only when you step out of the drama can you actually see it for what it was.

My clients (and even myself) have found a great benefit in writing a letter to the person involved, explaining the situation, listing the lessons they have learnt, telling them that they forgive them and the reason they forgive them is because they deserve peace from the situation. This letter does not need to be given to the involved person, as it is really only important to yourself and personal development. I then suggest that you either burn the letter or bury it or rip it up in lots of little pieces as a symbolic process that you are letting go of the situation. You have taken the thoughts out of your head and written them down and then destroyed them. 

Give it a try and see how you go with it. And remember that you are forgiving the person not for them, but for yourself. So cut your emotional ties to the past, as you ultimately deserve the peace!

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.



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