What are my lessons from the past?

Here is an extract from my popular ‘Ignite Your Possibilities’ program. It is apart of the Drama Be Gone section, which allows us to start to think about what past experiences are still affecting our current decisions and thoughts!

Here we will look at what your lessons from the past are. I find that this is always the toughest part of this exercise. We have programmed our brains to only see the negative aspect of what happened in the past because seeing it in another way is too hard for us to face.

When we think about a negative past experience we will relive the event and start to feel the same emotions again, like hurt, anger or fear. As our brain gets caught up in these emotions, it is hard to see past them and understand what factually happened. Give it a try; think about a time from the past which was very stressful, for me this was after the birth of my first daughter. I hemorrhaged 10 days after she was born. It was a very stressful and emotional time, instead of been home and enjoying my daughter I was in the hospital been prepped for surgery with the doctor asking us to sign consent forms for a full-hysterectomy! In that moment all of our dreams and hopes for more children had come to a big HAULT and not to mention the severity in the moment for my own life! Fortunately my doctor was able to work quickly and I am very thankful to say that I have been blessed with 3 other children since this time! The feelings of fear and anxiety around this event remained with me for many years to come. Especially when we decided to have our next baby, which bought up all of these fears again. I felt like I was reliving every moment of it after the birth of my second daughter! I would recall the exact moment it happened, all the details and with this would bring about all the emotions I experienced back to life! It was like I was reliving the event again and again! As I am writing this out I can still imagine what those emotions were like but I do not experience them anymore. This is because I have accepted what happened and learnt from this experience. It is only when you can do that will you leave the stressful event in the past. For me, it took a long to do this and with time it did become easier. The most important thing I did was to step away from the whole emotion and drama of the event and see it as a factual and logical event. Yes I was hemorrhaging, yes I was scared and yes I was in danger but I can now see that I was in a safe place, with the best doctors and a supporting husband and no matter what the outcome I was going to be okay! It is hard to do, but a very important process of accepting the past.

  • Acknowledging the past
  • Understand the learning from the past
  • Seeing the past from another perspective.
  • Accepting the past

You might be wondering what the lesson from me hemorrhaging is? Well the lesson is that I am okay and that my husband and I are strong enough to face and conquer anything that comes at us. And of course, on a more practical sense ensuring that you use a doctor who you have the utmost trust and faith!

Now think about a time in your past that still haunts you today? Is it a medical emergency like mine or even an emotional event? Big or small, it does not matter – what matters is if it is still affecting you today! If it is still in your thoughts and you feel those same emotions swelling every time you think about the event.

Organise some time that you can devote to looking at the situation. Your first instinct will be to think about the emotion and drama of it, which is okay. Spend some time writing down and acknowledging the emotions that you felt at the time. Then once you have acknowledged all the emotions it is time to move away from them and look at the situation in a logical and factual way. By being caught in the emotion and drama of it will keep you tied to the event. Write down the things that occurred factually (no emotion involved this time). Once they are all written down look at them step by step and to see what is something positive about each of these steps.

Like with me, the most emotional part of the whole event was when my husband and I needed to sign a consent form for a possible hysterectomy, it forced me to see the magnitude and reality of the situation! When I wrote this down, I thought impossible that there could be a positive to this, there is no good to come of this! Well there is and that was that my husband was by my side and supportive to whatever the outcome was going to be, as long as I was okay – 1 baby or 4 babies it did not matter to him!

Once you have been able to do this, you can then accept what has happened and focus more on the positive side to the event and become grateful. Like with me I am grateful that my husband is very supportive and that I had the best doctor helping me!

If you would like a free trial of my ‘Ignite Your Possibilities’ program emailed to you please click here.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie

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