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My No.1 Tip To Motherhood

 ‘There is no one perfect way to be a good mother … Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children … What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply …’ – M. Russell Ballard

When we become mums, if we are not emotionally okay within ourselves then that is projected onto our children, which can be everything from exciting and exhilarating to overwhelming and scary. In my experience, when I became a mother, all of my emotions that I had been trying to hide from – although not very successfully – came flooding to the surface. I had created these gorgeous innocent children who would look at me with adoration and unconditional love. I wanted more than anything to teach my children all that life has to offer them and be there for them in a way that only a mother can.

Becoming a mum can be one of the most exhilarating and scariest things in your life. Like me, you remember the moment you became a mum when your home pregnancy test came back positive with those two little lines! It was exciting, yet so scary. It was taking a leap into the next stage and you had no idea what was going to happen but it was so exciting because you were bringing a new little person into the world.

Yet how could I do all that if inside myself I did not believe or feel that I was good enough and capable enough to step up to the challenge! This is why when we become a mum our feelings are exaggerated. Tie this to the overwhelming desire to be The Best Mum Ever and you are heading towards a meltdown.

We all strive to be the best mum and to do the very best things for our children. Unfortunately, if we are not in the right head-space and if we are not in a happy place within us then we will put our own issues onto our children.

My mothering-guilt appeared as an outward expression of the fear that I was not a good enough mother. This fear appeared in the form of doubts about my ability, second- guessing my decisions, fearing that I wasn’t spending enough time with them, guilt over leaving them in day care, or that I was somehow neglecting them if they happened to get hurt. Does this sound familiar?

During this chapter I give tips and strategies that I use everyday on my children.

My number one tip I think is the most important and valuable is to “Trust in what you are doing”. Is your baby happy and are you happy? Let go of this image of the perfect baby that sleeps all night, eats everything, and does not cry. Let me tell you, there is no such thing as a perfect child. Your child is perfect as your child. Your child is the perfect child for you.

Finally I want to remind us all is to enjoy your children, they do grow up so quickly and before you know it they are becoming adults themselves. It is these early years of formation that will make a difference for the rest of their lives.

To order your copy of my book called Beyond The Schoolyard, please click here.

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.

Signature -Debbie

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