Reflecting on new and past lives

Reflecting on new and past livesLast week I had the opportunity to stop and reflect on a very special time in my life. The pregnancy and the birth of my children, in particular my second daughter – Sofia. Together we attended a ‘Human Sexuality’ night at her school, with the focus on pregnancy and birth.

The facilitator took us through the story of a developing Embryo to Fetus. Then at times throughout the story she stopped and gave us a chance to discuss and share our experiences with our children.

Even though I have many times discussed my pregnancies and shared with my children many stories surrounding their births. I have never taken the time to sit down and reflect with one of my children on such a deep level.

We talked about that first phone call to the first kick and to how we felt and what we were doing when Sofia was born. This bought back so many wonderful memories and what a special way to share them with my Sofia.

With this amazing experience also brings a great deal of pain for me. As the facilitator acted out that first phone call to your parents advising them of your good news that you are pregnant and speaking to first the Mum and then the Dad – my gorgeous daughter looks at me and says, “Mummy you must have been so sad that you could not tell your Dad” (my Dad passed away before my children were born). I looked at her with such amazement that she thought of me and how I had felt. I then agreed with her and said, “My Dad already knew”. I held back my tears and refocused on what and where I was.

I was amazed as at how Sofia thought of this, that she was thinking about the importance of family and love – which is something we strongly enforce at home. It made me feel very proud of her and her ability to see beyond the face value of the discussion and see it with more depth with love and empathy.

This whole process also reiterates to me the importance of taking these times out to stop and reflect on new and past lives. Both are just as important and as heart-warming as heart-breaking.

My message from all of this is two very important things. The first is to keep the memory of our loved ones alive by talking about and celebrating their lives with our children. The second is to enjoy every moment with our precious children, to take time out to reflect and be present as that next phase is just around the corner and this phase will soon be a memory!

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.



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