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motherhood

11
May

The quieter you become the more you can hear

In our busy lives rushing between all the ‘jobs’ we need to get done every day, we get caught up in needing to be somewhere or do something and forget to actually live our lives!

For me, this is something I struggle with each and every day as I am a woman of many hats – I am a mother to four active children, I am a Kinesiologist, I am a wife and (just recently) I am the Tuckshop Lady at my children’s school. Which means that my life is a busy one with lots going on.

This makes it very easy for me to get stuck into the never ending cycle of what needs to be done and in constant thought about the next job to do! And for a long time I would be this person, struggling everyday to get everything done and feeling absolutely exhausted at the end of each day. Unfortunately my children and husband would often bare the brunt of my tiredness and frustrations.

I decided that I did not want to be that mother and wife who is cranky with no time to connect with her children.

I have found the one thing that has made a huge difference for me is meditation and mindfulness of the present moment. It is through this awareness of what is going on and allowing myself time out to re-focus on what is important which has enabled me to be calmer and ‘in the moment’ with my family.

My one most important tip to you today is to take some time out today (it only needs to be a few minutes) to breathe and just allow yourself to sit in the moment. Focus on your breathe and allow your mind to quieten down. Do this a few times each day. I will do this while I am waiting for my kids to come out of school, before I get out of bed in the morning, whilst I am eating my lunch, short breaks at the computer and most importantly before I go to sleep at night. Give it a try in your life today, it is something so simple which can have a profound effect on your day and mood.

I am very passionate about this as I know (through my own experience) that you can also get control of your busy life through using the same techniques I use daily. Hence I have created a workshop called ‘Meditation Made Easy’. Please click here for more information.

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.

Signature -Debbie

27
Apr

Do you feel overwhelmed trying to be the ‘perfect’ parent raising the ‘perfect’ child?

I have been busy lately working on an exciting free program called ‘Bringing Happy Back’. This program is for all parents out there who feel stressed, anxious and overwhelmed in trying to be the ‘perfect’ parent raising ‘perfect’ children!

Click here for more info.

It is a free 21 day emailed program with many bonuses, including webinars, competitions, give-aways, private facebook community and an end of program get together (in Melbourne).

I have written this program as a way to help many families who are struggling with day to day life and to help them bring the happy back to their families. It is my belief that every family deserves to be happy through life’s up and downs and I am on a mission to create this for your family too.

Click here for all the program details and registration.

This program will begin on the 18th May!

I look forward to welcoming you and taking your family through my essential steps.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie

27
Apr

Ups and downs

I am often asked by my clients how to navigate and manage through life’s ups and downs and why do the downs continue to come? It is something that even I still struggle with coping with the downs of life.

My biggest piece of advice is that ups and downs will always be there, they will continue through life as we cannot experience a happy time if we do not experience the sad time. Life is not just filled with the good bits or ‘Photo Album Moments’ which are great moments, yet it is not in these moments that we learn and grow as people. It is in the not so good bits that we develop and help to make us the person that we are today.

For me, to overcome these downs and continue to move toward the light of life, is to take action to move away from the down and into a place of peace. When life is throwing you a curve ball if you are in a place of peace, you will be able to navigate through it easier and more effectively without wallowing in self-pity and becoming the victim. As when self-pity and victim mode takes over it will take you longer to move through the down!

For me, I maintain this place of peace in my life through meditation, seeing the bigger picture of daily downs (and ups) and treating myself (and those around me) with more self-compassion. I am writing about this today as this was me yesterday, as I exploded in anger at my family over something small and feeling like I was been pushed to my limits. Yet rather than seeing that I have failed I look at this moment as a learning curve and a way to show and teach my children that sometimes we do feel angry and it is okay. It is important to express anger (in a productive and controlled way) yet when we allow the emotion to overtake us we cannot control ourselves. As I noticed what was happening I removed myself from the situation to allow myself get back into a place of peace.

This place of peace is the key. To get to this place of peace takes ACTION not wallowing ACTION. My action was to remove myself and re-centre myself to see the bigger picture of what was going on!

What ACTION can you take to navigate through life’s ups and downs?

Until my next blog, enjoy your children.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie

22
Mar

10 Steps to Prevent Bullying for Your Child

Bullying occurs all around us; as a child in the schoolyard, as a teenager in the Cyberworld and even as an adult in the workplace! As a society we need to raise awareness around bullying, as the effects on both the victim and bully can last a lifetime.

I am passionate about helping other families to feel empowered over bullying. I experienced bullying in my school years and for many years after the bullying occurred I suffered from feelings of low self-worth and feelings of not being good enough.

I believe that no child or adult should experience bullying or live from the long-term effects of bullying like I did.

These 10 simple steps will help you to take your power back and prevent bullying in your child (as either a bully or victim of bullying):

  1. Deal with your personal issues: it is important to get Mum feeling confident and in control of her life first, which will then flow down to her children. The more we can look within and work on our own stuff the less we will feel the need to put others down to make ourselves feel better.
  2. Create empathy: model and teach your children to be empathetic and how to recognize emotions that are being experienced by those around them. Be understanding and empathetic towards your children for what they are going through.
  3. Communication: keep the lines of communication open with your children, so they are comfortable with talking to you about what is really going on at school and on social media.
  4. Resilience: encourage resilience in your children, modelling and talking them through how they can ‘bounce back’ from difficult times, setbacks, and other significant challenges.
  5. Attention: give your child quality one on one attention. This is important to help your child feel valued and worthy or your time and love. By helping your child to feel valued in the home environment will reduce the chances of them going outside the home environment for validation.
  6. Accept your child for who they are: love and accept your child as they are right now. If we can accept our children and show this to them though love and feeling proud of them.
  7. Do not label your children: do not give your children labels, like shy, rude, naughty or terrible. This will on reinforce the behavior that you are trying to avoid. If you call someone a name long enough, then that is what they will believe within themselves.
  8. Discipline your child with love: discipline your child from a place of love, not form a place of anger and frustration. It is important to teach children how to deal with their own anger through modelling appropriate anger management within ourselves.
  9. Teach your children how to be social: model and teach your children to be social through your own social relationships. Children learn through our example and need to know how to treat people socially.
  10. Encourage your children to be independent: by encouraging your children to be independent, we are putting our trust in them and saying that we think they are responsible enough and mature enough to cope with a given task.

The most important thing for children who are either experiencing bullying or who are bullying is to look within and underneath to see what is happening for them inside emotionally. When we are able to address these internal fears, anxieties or sadness then their external behaviours will start to match their internal feelings. When you only deal with the external bullying it has a short-term effect, to make the changes long lasting we need to deal with the internal emotions that are causing the bullying.

Start today to implement these steps into your life. Remembering to talk and acknowledge what is going on with your child and see it through their eyes.

Order your copy of my book, Beyond The Schoolyard by clicking here.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie

 

16
Mar

The Art of Mindfulness

Becoming mindful is the key to living a happy, calmer and more fulfilled life. Yet in our busy day to day lives we forget to be mindful of the present moment as we get caught up in the next thing we need to get done!

I will be running a workshop called ‘The Art of Mindfulness’ on Thursday and at this workshop I will be teaching you the powerful tips and tools I use on a daily basis to keep myself grounded within the present moment. It is in this present moment that I create the future I desire, live the life I love, move away from any past negativity and teach my children to do the same!

Please click here for more information on this workshop.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie

8
Dec

The power in the now…..

At my weekly meditation class last week we talked a lot about being in the present moment. This is something that seems to keep on coming up for me lately.

This moment now is what keeps the past alive and what allows the past to continue to infiltrate into our lives.

This moment now is where we feel anxious or worry about the future.

When we look at the present moment with peace and acceptance, then the past will not dictate our present and the future will work itself out.

To quote my meditation teacher..

“Like attracts like, so when we are at peace in the present moment we will attract peace for all future moments”.

How true! We can change the future just by changing our present thoughts – it is very empowering when we think of it in this manner.

My biggest task this week has been to slow down, focus on the present moment and understand why something from the past or future is affecting me right now (when it is not even happening in the present moment). I had a perfect example of this over the weekend. I began to feel overwhelmed and anxious over something that was out of my control (and specifically someone). I needed to take a step away from the emotion that I was feeling and see why it was affecting me right now. I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH was the current reason why it was affecting me! Which was really simple to see once I was able to step in the present moment and see logically what was happening. So instead of reliving the past and worrying about what was going to happen in the future because of this event, I told myself that I was GOOD ENOUGH and I am perfect just as I am in this moment. This is where I put my focus, not on the external event that was causing me angst.

How can you apply this to your life? And where do you allow the past to infiltrate into your present thoughts, actions and reactions.Slow down today and focus on the now. Be present in the now, not in what could of been or what should be.

To your happiness,

Signature -Debbie
1
Dec

Get Organised For Christmas

With the Christmas excitement building I want to share with you some important tips to get yourself organised for Christmas, so you can start to relax and enjoy the festive season.

I love Christmas and all the joys it brings, spending time with family and friends, surprises and lots of food. With all of this comes a lot of preparation and time needed to get Christmas organised! So I have come up with a list of 7 essential things you can do in the lead up to Christmas to help you focus on the magic of Christmas rather than the stress of getting everything done!

1.       Accept that it is crazy busy

I think this is a huge one, we need to accept that this time of the year does get busy with lots of social engagements, cooking and shopping. Accept what it is and what you can or cannot get done. Do not focus on all that you haven’t done, but instead on what you did achieve – even if it was helping your daughter for 1.5 hours to write her school Christmas Cards!

2.       Make a ‘Things to do list’ of all the things that you need to.

For those of you who know me, I love my ‘Things to do lists’, I do them regularly for big projects I am working on and I also do them on a weekly basis for weekly activities – which incorporate my bigger lists. I know they take time to set up, but believe me the feeling of accomplishment you get when you tick things off your lists is worth the extra effort.

3.       Look after yourself

This one can be a tricky one, especially with all of the social gatherings and copious amounts of food this time of the year brings. Obviously I am not saying don’t go out and enjoy yourself, because that is a major part of the fun of Christmas. What I am saying is when you at home, opt for that healthier option and drink more water to counter balance the food or drink that you enjoyed the night before.

4.       Start a present list.

Every year I print off my standard list from my computer (I use Excel for this) with everyone’s name who I need to buy a present for, including family, friends, teachers, kids friends etc. Then I write down next to their name what I will buy. I find this is a great way to keep track of who and what I am buying and then I will then use my present list as my shopping list when I head to the shops. No-one ever gets forgotten!

5.       Use your Junk Mail.

Start to use that never ending supply of Junk Mail which all of our letterboxes are bombarded with at this time of the year to think of ideas for presents, especially for those hard to buy for. Shop smarter, so when you do actually go to the shops you know exactly what you are buying rather than wondering around the shops looking!

6.       Spread that Christmas Spirit

At times, especially when we are busy we tend to only focus on ourselves and the things we need to do. This Christmas season, take some time out to do something for someone around you who may need a little extra help or just because. Imagine if we all did one thing special for someone in our lives, think about how fantastic it will be for the Spirit of Christmas to grow and extend outwards. And could you also imagine if everyone at the shops let one person in front of them either at a queue or driving, the shopping centre would be filled with happier and less stressed out people!

7.       Have fun and enjoy it

Above all remember it is Christmas and it only comes once a year, enjoy it and spend time with all those you love and cherish. Let go of what you could’ve or should’ve done and just be in the moment of all the magic that Christmas brings.

With all that said, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and all your families a very Happy and Safe Christmas. Enjoy.

Signature -Debbie

 

30
Nov

Webinar – Happy Mums = Happy Kids

This week i was fortunate to run a webinar with some amazing Mums, called Happy Mums = Happy Kids.

I always love running webinars, as they give me a great chance to connect with you all on a more personal level. The most important tip from the webinar (and the one that i received the most feedback on) was ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself’.

Often as mothers we tend to strive for perfection and when our life and mothering falls short of perfection, we become hard on ourselves that we are not doing a good enough job! This leads us to get caught up in negative thoughts and beliefs about ourself that often are not even true! This negativity is laced with past experiences and years of being judgemental of ourselves.

What I asked on the webinar was…

“How can you be happy when someone is being mean to you all the time?”

This question is often a confronting one, as it makes it so obvious to us that how can we be happy with these negative thoughts running through our conscious and sub-conscious minds all the time? It is here in these thoughts that we need to make the changes to be able to step away from this negativity to become our own best friend.

So my question to you today, is how can you treat yourself kinder? I know for me, I am going to be kinder to myself by doing a short meditation each day, to help calm my mind and be present in the moment!

Here is the link to the recording of my webinar for you to listen to in your own time. Please click here….

Enjoy guys.

Signature -Debbie

4
Nov

How do you determine your happiness?

Do you rely on external events for your happiness? I know this is something that I used to rely on for my happiness but in actual fact it is a waste of time (and energy).

Imagine if you changed your focus to your state of mind and let go of your focus on the external world, how much happier would you be?? For me, this has made the biggest impact on my happiness.

Once I have been able to understand and stop focusing on things that I cannot change and focusing on my inner world (and state of mind) I have been able to let go of things that are not important.

Give it a go today and see how empowering it is!

To your happiness.

Signature -Debbie

25
Sep

Multitasking Uncovered

The most important thing about Multitasking is how it effects and rewires our brains! Our brains are not wired to do multiple tasks at the one time.

Think about how our brains work, they are already really busy with relying information across to where it needs to go, storing information, processing and acting on outside stimulation, processing and acting on inside stimulation and the list goes on. We are constantly thinking at the rate of approximately 70,000 thoughts (conscious and sub-conscious) in one day. That is huge and very energetically taxing. Now think about if we add in the process of doing more than one task at a time, in its already busy state, the brain will get confused and will slow down its processing. As the brain swaps between the different tasks we are trying to complete quickly it will cause our brain to become confused and stressed!

Studies show that the human brain can’t handle more than one task at a time. Even though we think we’re multitasking, our brains are actually switching rapidly between tasks”. (The Myth Of Multitasking, Scientific America. 2009, July).

Our brains are changeable and are constantly changing through our daily activities. We are able to change the way our brain works by doing repetitive activities, which allows the brain create the new pathways. Think about that and the effect that long-term Multitasking will have on your brain. Through Multitasking we are actually training our brain to not focus on one thing (especially on the smaller details) and our memory (as our brain is switching between tasks it will leave very little time for a memory to be created). Before I began my no-multitasking mission, I was beginning to notice that I was forgetting things and I thought that my memory was failing me! This frightened me as it was becoming quite bad that I would put something down in the house and 5 minutes later I could not find it and I would forget play dates or coffee dates I had organized with close friends and family. There was nothing wrong with my memory – the problem was that I was not focusing my attention on one thing! It got to the point when I was talking to friends or family, I was actually thinking about what I had to do later, which meant that my mind was not present, so how could I possibly remember the interaction we had. Unfortunately and fortunately it is through this that we train our brains how to think, react and remember things by the way we engage in current life. So I was actually teaching my brain not to remember as I was not allowing it to focus on any one thing for too long.

This is supported by Dr David Meyer, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, agrees with another US psychologist Dr John Arden, that when humans multitask too much, they can experience short-term memory problems or difficulty concentrating. Of course, what else would the brain do but what we teach it to do!

As you now know Multitasking causes us to feel stressed and anxious on an emotional level and a Brain level! For example when you are going from here to there for all different tasks you get stressed out, especially when one thing does not go as smoothly as you had imagined. I know I was guilty of this when I was trying to still be a bookkeeper for clients at home and trying to squeeze in the time to get it done in between doing washing, tending to the kids, answering messages and even checking facebook. This caused me great stress as at the end of the day I would say to my husband I feel like I have done nothing all day today, but I have been so busy. Then this thought would cause me more stress as I did not get the work done and the deadline was looming. My next thought was that the same thing was going to happen tomorrow. So as you can see my bookkeeping work ended up being like a huge task when in reality it was only about 8-10 hours a fortnight, but when you break down the work into little chunks it was much longer than that as it would take me twice as long starting and stopping and I felt like I was constantly doing it as I was squeezing it in between everything else.

So once again, we are actually wiring the brain up for stress and anxiety around getting tasks completed, as it does not know how else to process tasks if we are always doing multiple things at the same time!

How can you incorporate more single task activities in your daily routines to allow your brain a chance to think clearer and more concise over the one thing?

This has been a excerpt from my “Ignite Your Possibilities” eCourse, Be More Effective With Your Time section. For more information on this please click here.

Until my next blog enjoy your children.

Signature -Debbie

Beyond the School Yard

Meditation Made Easy!
Bring Calm & Focus to Your Life